the day is gloomy but i can make my own sunshine if i want to "i hope you create the sunshine i see in you" he says lines like that when he's tired and i'm tired and i smile in my sleep

today will be the day that i stop feeling inadequate next to tall buildings and taxi cabs, short skirts and long hair. today is the day that i'll forget my umbrella ande get wet. on purpose. get wet wash makeup away.

i'm not here forever. i don't have to be here forever. i change with the hour/minute, i change with the waves. i don't have to know all the answers, i don't have to do it all on my own, i don't have to be inarticulate i don't have to feel like a little girl again again again again again little miss sunshine

the back and forth a dance

energy comes in and out like breathing lungs the up and down bellies need to take it in but i can't too tight shirt reminding me of my weakness and my solice and my need to remember and forget all at the same time she's a part of me but one that i don't like but she won't go away without a fight and this is fighting and this is waiting for her to come and take me over close my eyes and take me over she will come when i'm not looking and take this and replace that until i don't recognize myself anymore

there are always strangers here and repeats but still strangers cause i don't know their names/ stories/ ages/ birth/ social security number but i know their faces and their voices and their too loud perfume overwhelming as i sink lower into the cushion chair lowers as you sit upon it, rises when you leave so like royality

i seek boredom in the fury i seek the chaos in the still there is nothing left for me to do but go

the past can never escape the past the world not big enough to take people apart from each other apart from what has been is engrained in the earth beneath my feet, my feet apart of the earth, my feet as fast as they can go is never fast enough