i wait until things get really messed up before i clean them. really crazy all clothes out of the closet sheets ripped off the bed no clean dishes anywhere dust bunnies reproducing as i sit and watch. i wait until it is so much there is so much that it is overwhelming that to sweep is nothing when there is an inch of dust on the telephone, the TV so that i can't even see. i wait cause i want to cause i want to forget about it that in waiting i will win and it/they will go far far away.

childhood

http://www.wku.edu/~smithch/MALVINA/mr101.htm

i need to create things, feel new in my hands from my hands something different from what was string into a sweater seeds into a flower paper into faces looking back at me. i need to breathe into things life spirit movement light that reflects back onto the mirror of me "love is something if you give it away you end up having more" child song in my head.